The Pull of Independence

9 Sep

weddingThis week Sister Leadership is honoured to welcome Debbie Hollingworth, of I Do With You – an online wedding shop hosted on Etsy, and focusing on really charming ‘old time’ type of invitations, favours, menus, etc. Debbie and I met at the Ottawa Citizen back when we were both working there. Since that time, we’ve both left for new horizons: for myself it was coaching and Sister Leadership, for Debbie it was to become a freelance graphic designer and specializing in wedding stationary.

And so, when considering who to interview about the concept of Independence, Debbie and her business popped right up into my mind. You see, originally Debbie ran (and still runs) a business called You’ve Been Posted,  but when the wedding biz had a slump not too long ago, she decided to put aside her freelance ambitions and go back to working for someone else. It was during that time she hammered out her values and stumbled upon a new concept, Etsy, for launching into her dream business once again.

(Etsy is an online retail community with a high focus on craft, art, and design. It’s an excellent place to shop for some party touches, your next dress, jewellery or – in the case of IDoWithYou, wedding invitations!)

So what is Independence? “Independence is the ability to think for yourself and be free of emotional dependency,” EQ Leader Program. With Debbie’s interview, we’ll see how her passion sparked that ability to think and create for herself.

Q: So, Debbie, what feeling do you experience when you need to work independently from others? Do these feelings change over time some ways?

“It is the greatest feeling overall because you have control you have options you have choices. You can affected in any ways its works for you, explore all kinds of different areas, you are under some different regime you don’t want to go outside the box, anything is possible.”

Q: how did you get back to the ability of confidence in your independent business? How did you get out that cocoon?

“Well, you know what’s so odd is that, you know they say . . . that wherever you are led, there’s a reason for everything. I try really hard to look at the positive in everything. For the most part, I’m a very positive person . . . I just try and follow things as they go through. When I took that job at that invitation shop, one of the girls there said was, ‘one of the things you’re going to have to learn when you are here (because they were on Etsy) is Etsy and how to manipulate it and ground it, etc.’ It was like – I think it was three weeks into working there and I was already not happy. I had started thinking, ‘oh yeah, I’ll have to get this Etsy rolling for her,’ but then it clicked in my head. I said, ‘wait a minute, I’m going to open my own Etsy store.””

Q: How did it feel when you went back to working for yourself in this new type of business?

“Totally exhilarating. It was the right thing to do, I felt right and good and my passion started to come back. Every day I started to have something else that was to work toward . . . It help makes things work for me a bit better know there was a goal. I was doing the shop for money, but I could also pursue this new venture I had with the hopes of building it up and getting rid of the other job.

“It turned out that I did go to that stationary shop job for a reason. It helped me start up this whole new Etsy idea. It gave me insight into a new found passion and new business. A new way to be independent.”

Q: To what extend to you involve others in your work and the decision that you make?

“My every day stuff, making new things, whatever I’m doing, and contact with clients – I’ve been doing it all on my own. I’m welcoming the time when I can’t do it on my own and I need to hire somebody. That’s really going to show that I made a lot of progress.”

Q: Can you describe a situation where you were set against the grain and made a decision that wasn’t popular?

“The decision to take work (at the Stationary shop). Everybody was against it . . . most everybody was against it. But I just had to do it. I just felt like I had to do it. It made me feel at peace in my tummy. I just needed to do it. And in hindsight, it about more than the money because of what the outcome has developed.”

Q: Because of the Etsy wedding business you are now running?

“Exactly! You know what’s interesting. This is an odd parallel that came into my mind. I was married for 23 years, I’m in my second marriage, but I was married to my first husband that long. And the last ten years that marriage was not good, but I don’t have regrets. I’m not a person that hangs on that. There was a reason I did that, the reason I had my children – they were meant to be here, so that had to happen. I don’t feel bad about it, I feel good about it.

“And the way it turned out, I met my husband now. Had I not followed that course, I might not have met up with him. So I’m always appreciative of what has occurred. I’m not sitting there like, “I wish, I wish, I wish.” I’m not saying I never do that – I do it, but in the big picture I get a handle on it and understand how it’s been good.”

We’d like to very much thank Debbie for sharing her time and thoughts with us. The road to our goal may not always be smooth, but it’s a powerful ability to take what has happened and kernels of knowledge.  And who knows, it’s quite likely that one experience will help prepare you for the next, as it did with Debbie.

This week we’re offering an NLP tool to couple the EQ concept of Independence. In this tool, you are locating the placement of your inner critic. Using the submodalities of

  • Kinesthetic
  • Olfactory
  • Gustatory
  • Auditory
  • Visual

We’ll help you shut down your inner critic and find that good moment above off of the worry. Go on now and take a look. It’s also connected to the exercise we gave you during our Barry White post on the inner critic. We’d love to hear your thoughts or feedback from the exercise.

Till next week,


Camille Boivin is founder of Sister Leadership, certified in EQi 2.0 and EQ360, a master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), has been coaching high-level women and men for over six years, and is now opening her expertise to those emerging in business. Camille pulls her blog topics from her unique coaching approach that combines her training as a EQi 2.0 and EQ360 certified facilitator with the dig-deeper tools of NLP.

Get in touch here if you’d like to talk with Cam about group or one-on-one coaching, and EQ assessments. With the miracle of Skype and telephones – distance is no issue!


One Response to “The Pull of Independence”

  1. MC Lessard September 11, 2013 at 13:15 #

    Thanks for the exercise Cam!

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