Talking Impulse Control with Kathy Brunelle

19 Aug

Kathy BrunelleMeet Kathy Brunelle, she’s a whole lot of things from Investment Advisor with Alan MacDonald Wealth Management, Women’s Business Network Chair of the Program Committee, an active contributor to her Ottawa community and an impressive running-hiking-skiing-learning-yoga-balance-lifestyle kind of woman. I met Kathy at a recent board meeting where I’ll soon be taking a co-chair position in the Program Committee.

Well, as it happens, Kathy and I got to chatting and I was so impressed with her energy and involvement. So of course, I asked her to be a featured guest here on Sister Leadership!

This week we’re chatting about Impulse Control, followed by a great NLP exercise. Kathy has been so very open with her emotions and personal relationships in this discussion, so we’d like to acknowledge that openness and thank her in advance for sharing her experiences.

1.    How do you typically deal with an impulse to act?  

“Most often, the realist in me kicks in analysing the pros and cons, and I talk myself out of indulging in impulsive acts.  Having said that, I am an emotional human being who has on occasion succumbed to impulsive behaviours.”

2.    Can you share a moment when you had to exercise patience and control over your behaviour? 

“When my 30 year marriage broke down, I was in my 50’s, struggling to find my way as a single woman.  I was sad, angry, lonely, and my confidence was in the toilet.  On impulse, I engaged in a couple of relationships that didn’t serve me well.  I was losing myself, and it wasn’t until I finally hit bottom that I realized, how I felt about myself mirrored what I was attracting into my life.  It took a lot of patience and control, to forgive myself, honour who I am, stay focused on physical, emotional and spiritual wellness, and keep moving forward.”

3.    Has your impulsiveness ever created challenges for you? How do you think others view your behaviour in these instances?

“The greatest challenge can be identifying a behaviour was driven by impulse.  Impulse is largely triggered by needs, wants and desires.  It can be very clear when satisfying a “want” on a whim that this is purely an impulsive move, but when we are wallowing in emotional drama, hindsight reveals what motivated our actions.  The relationships I engaged in satisfied my immediate need, want and desire to be loved and cared for, but I was blind to the fact that I was there for the all the wrong reasons.  This impulsive behaviour as in fact my greatest challenge to overcome.  I am so very fortunate to be surrounded by a supportive network of family, friends and colleagues who have been solid for me throughout my life.  I know they were alarmed by my actions and behaviours, and so very relieved to share in my recovery.  Today I am at my personal best, physically, emotionally and spiritually and engaged in a most beautiful, fulfilling relationship with my new husband.  Living life large!”

Thank you again to Kathy for being so open. It’s going to be great working together for the WBN!

In NLP we have Five Principles for Success, which are meant to help guide your emotions while engaging (and maybe being impulsive) with life. So, how can we grow our Emotional Intelligence to live a life with more engagement? Here are five key approaches you can take to help with impulse control:

1.            Know your outcome

2.            Take action

3.            Have sensory acuity

4.            Adopt a practice of  behavioural flexibility

5.            Operate from a physiology and psychology of excellence

The most successful people create lives many people only dream of because they understand each of us has the power to transform our lives. They realize that we create our experience through our thoughts, words and actions, and take responsibility for the results they achieve. So how do you transform your life to achieve your goals? Click here to check out this week’s resource, where we break down the five aspects above and share how they can work into your life.

Do you struggle with impulse control, or have you mastered an approach for keeping that in check? We’d love to hear your experiences, please share with us here or on our facebook page. And don’t forget to check out the Sister Leadership resource this week 🙂

Till next time!


Camille Boivin is founder of Sister Leadership, certified in EQi 2.0 and EQ360, a master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), has been coaching high-level women and men for over six years, and is now opening her expertise to those emerging in business. Camille pulls her blog topics from her unique coaching approach that combines her training as a EQi 2.0 and EQ360 certified facilitator with the dig-deeper tools of NLP.

Get in touch here if you’d like to talk with Cam about group or one-on-one coaching, and EQ assessments. With the miracle of Skype and telephones – distance is no issue!


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