Curiosity Beats Criticism

29 Apr

Today is a great day, because today we are bridging to an area I practise often with my coaching clients. It’s called Emotional Intelligence. (Chances are, you have heard of it, right?) Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a fascinating area. It’s a step beyond simply evaluating a person’s strength based on the intellect, and looks at how a person may be in emotionally connecting with themselves and with others. So you might be asking: where is the bridge, Cam, between Da Vinci and EQ?

The bridge is curiosity. Curiosity is such a gift. It opens us to the world. It allows for others to share their story. It is at the root of all learning. And, most importantly, curiosity holds no judgement. Imagine DaVinci the Renaissance Man – he wasn’t just an artist. He was a scientist as well. His sketches carefully record nature’s miracles like the body . . . in leaving behind his judgment, he was able to capture and explore with picture-perfect accuracy. Well, the same goes for you and your EQ. If you can stay in non-judgement when looking over your life (be curious, rather than critical), you can learn so much more.


Why does this matter?

Easy.  Would you rather see the world through smeared and dirty glasses, or clear transparent lenses? Curiosity gives you clean lenses. Sure, it can take a bit of work to get that awesome 20/20 vision in life, but it is an essential tool, and it starts with seeing yourself without judgement. (Easier said than done!)  That can be a lot to ask of people, but you aren’t alone in capturing curiosity over criticism. EQ is all about being aware – being able to measure your actions and reactions on an understandable scale.

So when a client comes to me, curious as how they can be a better leader or lead a better life, we often start by mapping out where they stand on the fifteen aspects of Emotional Intelligence as created by Reuven Bar-On. I give them a self-reporting questionnaire to fill, and based upon their results, we work from there.

The fifteen areas covered are as follows: (and from all the clients I’ve worked with – I guarantee if you were to fill this questionnaire, you’d be surprised with your results!)

  • Self-Perception comprised of: Self-Regard, Self-Actualization, Emotional Self-Awareness
  • Self-Expression comprised of: Emotional Expression, Assertiveness, Independence
  • Interpersonal comprised of: Interpersonal Relationships, Empathy, Social Responsibility
  • Decision Making comprised of: Problem Solving, Reality Testing, Impulse Control
  • Stress Management comprised of: Flexibility, Stress Tolerance, Optimism

You can see a picture of the EQ-i 2.0 Model of Emotional Intelligence by clicking here.

Want to see an example of the EQ-i 2.0 Model of Emotional Intelligence breakdown? Click here for an example breakdown on Self-Regard. (Trust me, it’s better than any magazine quiz you’ve ever taken, and more important than any psych school test you might have participated in for extra credit! These results are the sign posts of how you think, and how you act.Essentially crucial stuff.)

I’m also a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner – and it may be hard to understand how EQ and, NLP mesh together, but in next week’s post we’ll look at a real-life work scenario I’m sure too many of you have experience, and see how these concepts can compliment each other. Have you ever had a co-worker, boss, or employee who just didn’t ‘get it’ when you ask them to change their habits . . . well stay tuned to learn more about that! Curiosity might just save your sanity!

Till next week,

Camille Boivin is founder of Sister Leadership, certified in EQi 2.0 and EQ360, a master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), has been coaching high-level women and men for over six years, and is now opening her expertise to those emerging in business. Camille pulls her blog topics from her unique coaching approach that combines her training as a EQi 2.0 and EQ360 certified facilitator with the dig-deeper tools of NLP.

Get in touch here if you’d like to talk with Cam about group or one-on-one coaching, and EQ assessments. With the miracle of Skype and telephones – distance is no issue!


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